


It's Okay (I Wouldn't Remember Me Either)

by themoviesinourdreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Love Letters, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-04
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 19:15:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22550842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themoviesinourdreams/pseuds/themoviesinourdreams
Summary: Harry,Today I went to your old house and your mom was there but she pretended not to notice me because I think she is probably still mad about what happened the last time I saw her. I’m sorry about that.I don’t know where you are but I cannot forget you, I know it’s not mutual and that’s okay because I wouldn’t remember me either.always yours,Louis
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	It's Okay (I Wouldn't Remember Me Either)

**Author's Note:**

> so this is really really really short i wrote it after being capped from UT while sobbing so it's not the best thing ever. the no punctuation thing is on purpose i promise. this takes place in my euro class bc it's my favorite lmao.

12/12

Harry,

Emily is telling me a story and I am hopefully nodding along in all of the right places because I am not really listening because there is a ringing inside my head that’s been there ever since you left, and I thought that I would be used to it by now, used to this aching hole in my chest that burns every time I try to take a breath, but I am _not_ and I’m sorry because of it.

“Sorry,” I tell Emily, as she pauses in her story because I have stopped nodding and making the appropriate noises but she just gives me a look because she is all too used to this happening because it happens all the time because I can’t listen to her anymore because of this ringing in my ears and so I say sorry all the time. I have a lot of things to be sorry about these days.

Mr. Kent is talking about Napoleon or some other dead guy but I don’t really care because I only took this class because you were taking it and I tried to switch out after you left but they said nothing was open and so the seat next to me the one on the other side of Emily is perpetually open because it used to be your seat but you don’t sit there anymore because you left and now I can’t look at it without wanting to cry.

“Louis,” Mr. Kent says with a warning tone that I am used to by now because I am usually doing something that he finds disagreeable which is fine because I don’t really care about European history anyway because nothing really matters because you’re not here and now Mr. Kent is telling me to stop tapping on the desk because it’s too loud and why can’t I take notes for once and I counter because no one else is taking notes and he looks around the room appalled, like he can’t fathom a reason why absolutely no one is interested in Napoleon or whatever dead guy he’s talking about and Brandon laughs loudly because he sits in front of me and he used to think I was funny when I used to make jokes but I don’t anymore because you’re not here. It wasn’t a joke anyway, just an observation.

You said it would be like you were never even here and maybe it’s that way for you and I don’t blame you of course but I will never forget about you because I can’t but it’s okay that you don’t because I wouldn’t remember me either.

Yours always,

Louis 

1/8

Christmas break is over so I’m back in class and everyone is supposed to share what they did over the break and I’m ashamed to talk about it so I just don’t say anything and it’s awkward and I feel bad about it so I tell them sorry but I don’t think I mean it.

Emily went skiing in Colorado and she’s never been skiing before so it was a new experience and I am struck by the fact that I will never experience anything new ever again like the time you bought a motorcycle from the guy who sells drugs behind the popeye’s on the west side of town and we rode it to seattle because I had never even been out of the state before and seattle is not that far but it’s far _enough_ and Alex cut his hair and remembered when we placed bets on when he would cut it well I won but I guess I won’t get anything now which sucks

Today I went to your old house and your mom was there but she pretended not to notice me because I think she is probably still mad about what happened the last time I saw her. I’m sorry about that.

I don’t know where you are but I cannot forget you, I know it’s not mutual and that’s okay because I wouldn’t remember me either.

Yours always,

Louis

2/18

Harry

Do you remember when we went camping that one time because I have never been camping but you used to go camping with your dad and you promised me you would take care of everything but you forgot to pack food so we tried to go hunting but we didn’t have any tools for hunting so we went back to your house and camped in your backyard and it rained but we didn’t come in and in the morning your mom made us pancakes because I think about it all of the time except maybe I shouldn’t because thinking of you makes the pain worse and you said to forget you like you’re forgetting me right now but it’s okay because I wouldn’t remember me either

Yours always,

Louis

3/14

Harry,

Three days ago we had a test in euro and apparently it was bad because today Mr. Kent gave me a long look like he didn’t know what to do with me which is fine I don’t blame him because I don’t know what I’d do with me either I haven’t spoken in so long sometimes it feels like my voice just isn’t there anymore which would be okay because I have nothing to say anyway

Cara is talking about how she got into Stanford which she deserves and everyone around me knows what they want and all I can really think about is the time we went to Disney world because that was your wish even though you’d already been but I hadn’t and I’d never even been farther east than Albuquerque and maybe I will move to florida because I have nothing better to do

Your face gets less clear everyday because I can’t look at our old pictures because it’s supposed to be like you were never even here and I know that’s working for you and I’m not holding it against you because I wouldn’t remember me either

Yours always,

Louis

4/6

Harry,

I got your motorcycle out of my garage because Mr. Kent had a parent-teacher meeting with my parents except my stepdad forgot about it and he didn’t show up and tomorrow I will face the repercussions in class but there won’t be any repercussions if I ride your motorcycle to ohio except I never learned how to ride and I don’t know anybody who could teach me

You always planned to but you never had the time which is okay because and I hope you’re happy wherever you are and I know you’re not thinking of me but that’s okay because I wouldn’t remember me either

Yours always,

Louis

5/30

Harry,

today was graduation except I didn’t go because I dug up the old pictures of you last night because for a fleeting second I forgot what your face looked like and I found the picture we took together the day after you got diagnosed and you’re still smiling and you told me you loved me

everything is packed for florida because I am moving to Jacksonville I don’t know what I’m gonna do in Jacksonville but that’s something that I will figure out when I get to Jacksonville I’m pretty sure my stepdad has forgotten that I exist and that’s fine because I never really liked him anyway I will never forget you harry and I am so sorry that you’ve forgotten me by now I miss you but it’s okay if you don’t because I wouldn’t remember me either.

Yours always,

Louis

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoyed it, but it's cool if you didn't. also i have a fanfic in the works that i will post soon i just have to get over this fucking cold


End file.
